I need to do something completely frivolous and inconsequential

Yes, ermmm... Hello. 

Well, another week is over and another therapy session is under my belt. It's all gone a bit strange to be honest. I wasn't really sure what to make of it truth be told. The new therapist certainly had a very different approach to the previous therapist. This one likes asking questions rather than just chatting with me. Who knows where the thing will end up, but I am doing a sleep diary for the next couple of weeks. I'm not sure if this guy is seeing the insomnia as a cause of the depression and anxiety or a symptom. I think we may be putting the cart before the horse a little, but I defer to the experience of trained professionals and will ride it out.

That wasn't the reason for this post this evening though. Again dear readers, the insomnia has taken hold and I find myself with a racing mind.

I had a new book delivered today after recommendations from a number of people.

Guillermo Del Toro's cabinet of Curiosities looks to be a very interesting read and I look forward to dipping in and out of it (it's not really a book to read from cover to cover to be honest). But it has certainly got the creative juices flowing and I realised that I hadn't made anything that wasn't intended to go on-sale or as a gift for friends or whatever for a very long time indeed. I started on a new pair of goggles after my old pair were lost on the Congo river rapids at Alton Towers (a painful story that I don't want to go into at the moment as the wounds are still raw! ;) ) but the lenses were done and the project was abandoned in favour of other stuff. There was the recreation of a Victorian grave bell that I was making up that also hit snags and is still in pieces in my office.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to look into a new and exciting build. One that is not for any other reason than to inspire wonder in others. It won't be for sale, it might not even work, but I have to try. 

Now, I just need that one spark of inspiration. That creative fizzle that catches the imagination and sets the brush aflame. This is pretty much the sticking point with the majority of the stuff that I do. It's either derivative, an homage to or (in the very rare occasion that it is truly original) likely to be left unfinished.

It's slightly demoralising, but I am determined this time to get something off the ground that I can say"that's mine that is. Something that people will come across on google images in a few years time and say 'I've just found this, isn't It cool?' I'm talking about my Datamancer laptop or Herr Doktor's space helmet. I did enjoy a little notoriety with my little and larger amplifiers a few years ago, and the large amp is still on the top couple of pages if you do a google image search for Steampunk amp.

But what to make? I have been kicking an idea around for a little while, but it's very large and I wouldn't be able to transport it very easily as most of my stuff is rather smaller and portable...

I think I may need to ponder this for a little while...

Talk amongst yourselves...

It's been a funny old few weeks really.

Be prepared for a rollercoaster ride of a blog this time. Loads of stuff to talk about. Lots of different areas  to talk about too. Like an octopus playing the drums (Prizes for guessing the film etc...)

Well, it's been a couple of weeks and I've been frantically making stuff both for a couple of commissions and for the stall.
This weekend just gone was the first stall of the year. Down in Bournemouth at the SF Ball. It was, as usual, an eye opener and there were some genuinely wonderful people there. The attendees were enthusiastic (as only a con attendee can be) and the stall did OK as an opener to the season. I certainly broke even (which is all I ever want to do really) So all was good with the world. Which kind of leads me on to the depression thing again. Over the past few weeks (since my last blog post) I've been experiencing something very strange. It's like I've been medicating but without the medication. I haven't exactly been joyful, but the depression has receded enough to be able to look down on the black dog for the first time in a number of months rather thna it towering above me. He's no longer all encompassing and I've been smiling as well. Somethings that I felt that I had to force have been coming naturally.
I know that others take this for granted, but it really is a revelatory thing for me at the moment and I just wanted to mark the moment with a little flag.

This leads me on to the thing that I mentioned in my previous blog... Random acts of kindness. I have started the process. I'm not sure how big or small it is, but hopefully the recipient will appreciate it.

Have you been keeping up with your random acts? Have you really? Be honest now... you'd forgotten all about it hadn't you? It's OK, you don't have to, it's completely voluntary and not binding at all. (a bit like Activia or so I'm told ;) )

So that's the first thing that has happened. It's not a huge thing, but hopefully ripples will form as a result.

4 more to go... It could be you. Or you... Not you though... I see what you do at night you filthy little pixie. I'm here to tell you that you'll go blind if you don't stop it immediately!

Where the hell did that come from? I started channeling my long dead great grandfather I think.

Which leads me onto the next thing I wanted verbally assault your cerebral cortex with today.
As some of you may or may not know, I have an alter ego (What? Just the one? are you sure there's only tthe one back there kicking his heels?) His name is Corvus Marconi (I have some good friends to thank for the name), It's a great name and it allows me to be not me if you know what I mean. Corvus, (or Doctor Corvus Marconi as he is sometimes called) is a bit of a mentalist and worker of magics and stuff, he concentrates on mentalism (I always say it's because he's rubbish at sleight of hand, which is kind of true). that I just couldn't get away with. It's definitely a character that I have a certain amount of fun with. It's a bit strange when I am developing the effects If I do it as myself and I trip over words and get stuck in explanations, when I drop into Doc C. it's a lot smoother. He has the confidence gene I think.

But anyway, I digress. He has put himself up for nominations (And I do mean that he has done it rather than me. If you are friends with me and Dr. Marconi on Facebook, you will see that I am quite embarrassed at his shenanigans). He's put himself up asking for a number of nominations for the steampunk chronicle awards. Both 'Person to watch 2014' and Performance artist (non music) (or something like that). The weird thing is that I was watching him do this on Facebook and I wasn't entirely sure if I was actually doing it or he was doing it through me. That was a bit of a scary moment when I realised that I had a persona that I identify with and aspire to in my normal life who acts with a certain amount of autonomy. Those of you who know me know that I am never the person to push myself forward into the limelight of the worldwide stage (albeit in a niche genre thing). To be totally honest with you, it is something that really gives me the screaming heebie jeebies!

So why did I do it? Did I do it or did he? I certainly don't have the answers, but If you'd like to nominate him, have a look at his Facebook page for the suggestions for nominations (even though I don't want to) Dr. Corvus Marconi on Facebook

I was going to talk about the weather and the flooding, I was also going to talk about low mood in relation to the season and other factors, but I think I now need a lie down in a darkened room after that revelation. I expect to hear the sirens and see the men in white coats with the big butterfly nets coming to get me very soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4