It's been a little while

So yeah, it's been a while and I haven't updated. I am still alive, I am still seeing my therapist and the doctor gave me 2 months of citalopram when I spoke to her last. 

How am I doing you ask?

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will know what I mean when I say not bad with a weird little half smile... I really mean that I am having a difficult time at the moment and I don't want to bring you down with my lunacy, anxiety and depression. So it's just easier to say not bad... People have stopped asking though. On the one hand, this makes it easier to retreat back into my shell and protect myself, on the other I start to feel like they don't actually want to hear how I am doing so they are afraid to ask anymore. 

Recently, I've been feeling quite down, the futility and hopelessness is returning and I don't want it to. I mentioned it to her Ladyship a couple of days ago to let her know that there may be a rough few weeks ahead of us. She took it in her stride as she normally does when I let her know that I am feeling low. To the extent that I was treated with ice cream for pud this evening. 

Speaking of this evening, I got out of the car after coming home and came into the house singing one of the songs that I had heard on Radio 2 on the way home this evening. Ms. J said that she likes to hear me singing as I come in as she hadn't heard it in a long while. I wasn't aware that this was the case, but the more I think about it, the more I think that she is right. By the end of the evening, I had had an argument with my lady about absolutely nothin. That's how quickly my mood can change.

I don't know what to do at the moment. There is a phrase in the North east (we have a lot of phrases) I'm all at sixes and sevens... That's how I feel at the moment. Anything can set me off on a negative or a positive swing. There isn't any kind of trigger that I can see. 

On the plus side, work have been great so far. I have had some of my workload removed from me for a little while. I have a little bit more for the back end of the semester, but hopefully I'll be able to cope with it. 

So there you go, that's what life is like in my little corner of crazy at the moment. Updates will follow as and when I have anything to report.

In the meantime, stay tuned to this channel.