Blimey!
I have to say that I feel a hell of a lot better in myself. A case in point was the other night when I was performing. I screwed up one of the effects which would have sent me to pieces and jarred my confidence before I started taking the medication. It barely stopped me in my stride. I just shrugged it off and moved on. Afterwards, I didn't beat myself up about it. I didn't go into a huge post mortem of it on the way home, I just accepted that sometimes stuff happens that is outside your control and moved on... This may sound like pretty small potatoes to some people. But to me, this is a huge revelatory thing and is proof positive that the drugs really do work. Yes, I am still having irrational bouts of anger and negative emotions, but they are becoming few and far between.
On the plus side, I think my confidence is building back up again to the point where I don't feel the need to be affirmed for every decision that I make which is having a knock on effect with the creative work that I am doing. New designs are coming thick and fast from Broadarrow Jack and I will be premiering some new stuff at events and stalls over the coming few months.
There have been some negative side effects that have been in evidence, some quite embarrassing. I tend to sweat a lot more noticably now and as a consequence, I don't want to do some stuff because of the very obvious over sweating. I am assured however that the majority of this will calm down and probably get back to normal. I don't mind the negative side effects as much, because the positive effects that the drugs are having are absolutely fabulous. And the best thing of all, I haven't had to have any time off work as a result of this whole process. I may be asking for a bit of extended leave at some point in the future so that I can actually relax for a while without worrying about work and how secure my job is etc. but that is for the future and who knows what that holds...
this may be my last blog post for a little while as the worst of the hurdles are over with I feel. I will keep updating as and when I feel that I have something to report.
Other than that I don't want to keep reporting situation normal blogs Developments are interesting to read about. What I had for my lunch and what time that I got to bed last night are pretty boring for everyone (myself included). So, thank you all for following the process that I've been going through from the very bottom of my bottom, please feel free to keep it on a back burner and I will update everyone on the Facebook if I blog up again.
Peace!
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